Honest guides. No jargon.

1. What Autism Actually Looks Like Day to Day

The clinical definition of autism talks about differences in social communication and repetitive or restricted behaviours. That's accurate — but it doesn't quite capture what it looks like when you're living with it.

In real life, autism might look like:

• A child who finds it genuinely overwhelming to be in a busy supermarket, soft play area, or school hall — not because they're being difficult, but because the noise, light, and movement are genuinely painful to their senses.
• A child who has one very specific, all-consuming interest and who struggles to talk about much else.
• A child who needs the same routine every single day and falls apart completely when something small changes — a different route to school, a supply teacher, a cancelled activity.
• A child who takes things very literally. If you say 'pull your socks up', they pull up their socks.
• A child who seems to struggle to make friends, not because they don't want them, but because the unspoken rules of social interaction feel completely opaque to them.
• A child who flaps their hands, rocks, spins, or lines things up — not as a quirk, but as a genuine way of regulating how they feel.
• Meltdowns — not tantrums — where a child is completely overwhelmed and has temporarily lost the ability to regulate themselves.

2. Early Signs to Look Out For

3. How Autism Can Show Up Differently in Girls and Boys

The 'classic' picture of autism is more likely to describe how autism presents in boys. Girls are significantly less likely to be diagnosed, and often much later in life, because their autism can look quite different.

The NHS explicitly notes that autism can be harder to identify in girls, partly because girls are more likely to 'mask' — that is, to copy the social behaviour of those around them in order to fit in, even when it takes enormous effort.

If you have a daughter who seems to 'hold it together' in public but is increasingly anxious, struggling socially, or falling apart at home, it's absolutely worth exploring autism alongside other possibilities.

4. What Parents Often Say

5. The Difference Between Traits and a Diagnosis

A formal autism diagnosis is reached when all of the following apply:

• Difficulties in social communication and interaction are persistent and noticeable across different settings.
• There are restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities.
• These have been present since early childhood, even if they only become fully apparent later.
• They are causing meaningful difficulties in daily life — in learning, friendships, or family life.
• They are not better explained by another condition.

The NICE guidelines that govern autism diagnosis in England, Wales and Northern Ireland are clear that a diagnosis requires a full multi-agency assessment by a specialist team. It is not something that can be diagnosed by a GP, a teacher, or a website.

6. What to Do First in the UK

1. Talk to your child's school

   Speak to your child's class teacher and, particularly, the school SENCO. They can tell you whether they've noticed similar concerns, put support in place now, and write a summary to support a GP referral.

2. See your GP

   Your GP cannot diagnose autism, but they are the gateway to a formal assessment. Bring specific examples of what you've been observing at home. Be specific about the impact on daily life, not just the behaviours themselves.

3. The NHS assessment pathway

   A full autism assessment typically involves detailed conversations with you, information gathered from school, direct observation of your child, and consideration of whether another condition might better explain the difficulties. A diagnosis is usually made by a multi-disciplinary team.

Useful Resources

1. What Sensory Processing Differences Actually Look Like Day to Day

We all take in information from the world around us through our senses — not just the five you were taught in school, but eight in total. These include the way we experience movement and balance (vestibular), awareness of where our body is in space (proprioception), and awareness of what's happening inside our bodies, like hunger, temperature and pain (interoception).

For most people, the brain processes all of this without us having to think about it. For some children, that processing doesn't work as smoothly — so their brain either receives too much information (hypersensitivity) or not enough (hyposensitivity). Sometimes the same child experiences both, in different senses, at different times.

In real life, sensory processing differences might look like:

• A child who finds the tags in their school shirt physically unbearable — not melodramatic, genuinely painful — and refuses to get dressed in the morning.
• A child who covers their ears in the school hall or at parties, even when other children are clearly fine with the noise level.
• A child who craves rough physical contact — crashing into things, needing very firm hugs, chewing on their sleeves or toys — because their proprioceptive system needs more input.
• A child who gags at food smells, refuses entire categories of food based on texture, or can only eat very specific, familiar things.
• A child who can't seem to sit still — always rocking, spinning, hanging upside down — because movement helps them regulate their nervous system.
• A child who seems not to notice when they've been hurt, or who has very high pain thresholds and gets injured more often than expected.
• A child who melts down completely after a school day that everyone else thought was fine.
• A child who seems clumsy — tripping, bumping into things, misjudging distances — because their sense of where their body is in space is unreliable.

2. Early Signs to Look Out For

3. A Note on 'Sensory Processing Disorder' as a Term

'Sensory Processing Disorder' (SPD) is a term used in some settings, but it is important to be aware that it is not a recognised standalone diagnosis in the UK. The Royal College of Occupational Therapists (RCOT) does not support its use as a diagnostic label, and it does not appear as an independent diagnosis in clinical manuals.

Sensory differences are, however, listed as symptoms of conditions such as autism and ADHD, and can be identified and supported within those frameworks.

4. What to Do First in the UK

1. Talk to your child's school

   Speak to the school SENCO. They can tell you whether they've noticed similar difficulties at school, put support in place without waiting for a diagnosis, and write a summary to support a GP referral.

2. See your GP

   Your GP can refer your child to a paediatric occupational therapist — the specialist most likely to assess and support sensory differences. Bring specific written examples of how the sensory difficulties are affecting daily life.

3. Occupational Therapy Assessment

   Paediatric occupational therapists are the specialists who assess sensory processing differences in children in the UK. A good OT assessment will look at how your child's sensory processing affects their ability to take part in everyday activities — dressing, eating, school, play, and family life. Waiting times for NHS occupational therapy vary considerably across the UK.

Useful Resources